Still Standing
by Flyvarna
Summary: AU. A terrible accident has unexpected consequences for a divided family.
1. Chapter 1

Still Standing

Chapter 1

I looked at the blank page of paper. How was I supposed to draw the blocks of wood my art teacher had set up? I wasn't much of an artist; my attempts at drawing squares looked more like lopsided trapezoids, but my art teacher Miss Hanako said that we didn't have to be perfect, only do our best. Art class was actually one of my favorite classes for that reason, since according to Miss Hanako art had no wrong answers, only different interpretations.

I concentrated on drawing the blocks of wood, trying to give them the, what was the word? Depth that Miss Hanako said was vital in drawing three-dimensional objects. I didn't really pay attention when the classroom door opened up and someone came in, but I was close enough that I could barely hear the newcomer's muffled conversation with Miss Hanako over the sounds of the other kids in my class talking. I peered out from behind my easel to see that the woman who had just come in was one of the office secretaries, one whose name I couldn't remember. Then I realized that both she and Miss Hanako were looking at me. Not wishing to come across as rude, I swiftly pulled back behind the easel.

"Kouichi," Miss Hanako said in a voice that sounded a bit strained. I flinched, but peered out again.

"Miss Hanako?"

"You need to pack your stuff."

"Huh?" What was going on? I felt a lump of dread growing in my stomach, remembering the last time I'd been called out like this, when my mother had fallen off a ladder and had broken her arm. What had happened?

"Pack your stuff. Miss Hitokage will explain once you're done."

I felt myself blushing under the stares of not only the two women, but my fellow students. They were no doubt as curious as I had been, and less willing to hide it than myself. I had a feeling that my sudden removal from the class would be gossiped and speculated about, and I wanted to tell them all to leave me alone, but there was no help for it. I quickly put the pencil I'd been using back into the box, the drawing I'd only just begun onto the shelf we used to store our art projects, and folded the easel up. Miss Hitokage gestured for me to follow her into the hallway, which I did as I picked up my school bag on the way out.

"What's going on?" I asked as she closed the door behind them. Miss Hitokage took a deep breath before answering.

"Your mother called. One of your relatives was in a serious accident."

One of my relatives? It clearly wasn't Mom, that left Grandma. I felt the blood draining from my face at the thought of losing her.

"Your grandmother is on her way to pick you up on the way to the hospital," Miss Hitokage continued as I followed her down the hall.

Wait, Grandma was safe? A wave of relief coursed through me. They were _both _safe. But, who was injured?

"Did my mom say who it was?" I asked.

"No, only that the person injured was a relative, and that your grandmother would explain. She'll meet you at the office."

I nodded silently, but that didn't stop me from wondering. If it wasn't Mom or Grandma, that left someone on my father's side of the family, possibly my father himself. The same father who had walked out on us when I was two. Was _he _the one injured? While I felt angry that anyone could walk out on his own wife and son, not even my father deserved to die. Of course, that was assuming the person injured _was _my father; for all I knew, it could be an uncle, aunt, or cousin. But then, why was _I _getting involved?

My grandmother was waiting for me as Miss Hitokage and I came into the office. She was paler than usual, her hands trembling slightly as she walked over to put her arms around me.

"Grandma? What..."

"I'll tell you in the cab. For now, we need to go to the hospital, your mother is already there."

I was surprised at first that my mother would leave her job early, but it made sense. If the matter was serious enough that they were pulling me out of school, then Mom would be at the hospital. But, that still didn't tell me who was injured. All I could do was follow Grandma out of the school and into a nearby taxi cab. Once we were in, Grandma instructed the driver to take us to a hospital I had heard of, which wasn't anywhere near where we lived, then settled back with a sigh.

"Grandma, what's going on?" Why weren't they telling me anything about the person who was injured, and more importantly, what had happened to them? Were they going to be okay?

Grandma did not reply for a moment, and I wondered if _anyone_ was going to tell me _anything_.

"Your mother never told you," she finally said in a regretful tone. "Kouichi, you have a twin brother. He was in a car accident this morning, and seriously injured."

I felt the blood rushing from my face again. A brother? Words failed me, my mind trying to make sense of this fundamental change those words brought me.

"When your parents divorced, they split you two up," Grandma continued, "Kouji went to live with your father. Your mother made me promise not to tell you about him."

I felt my mouth moving, trying to react to her words, but nothing came out. The expression of guilt on Grandma's face made my confused feelings grow even more chaotic. Kouji? Was that my brother's name? But, if I had a brother, why hadn't Mom told me? Was it because Japanese divorces were more severe than other nations? I knew other students in school who had been separated from their siblings, and had no contact with them whatsoever.

But, if that was the case, why were we going to the hospital? Was it because this boy Kouji was so badly injured, he might die? If he died, then his death would impact me whether I liked it or not, since Mom and Grandma were involved. They would mourn him, they would feel genuine grief at his death, rather than the vague regret I was starting to feel through the numbness of shock.

My mother was waiting for us outside the hospital. She was paler than Grandma was, pacing back and forth along the sidewalk until the taxi pulled up, then the instant I got out of the taxi rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I could feel her body shaking against me, and her warm tears running down my cheek.

"Mom?" I asked softly.

"Sorry, sweetie. It's just that..." She held me even tighter, before releasing me. "I should have told you sooner!"

"How's he doing?" Grandma asked as she paid the taxi driver.

Mom shook her head. "He's still in surgery. The doctors say that the way he's lasted this long is a positive sign."

"What actually happened?" I asked. "I knew he was in a car accident, but that's it."

"Kouji was on the way to school when a driver was talking on his cell phone, and didn't see him in time." Mom's voice caught on a sob, and I reached out to put my arm around her. Grandma sighed sadly as she looked at the hospital behind us.

"He's still alive, Tomoko. Don't give up yet. Is Kousei with him?"

Kousei? It took me a moment to remember that that was my father's name. I rebuked myself for being so surprised; of course he was there, he was Kouji's father wasn't he? A thread of apprehension went through me at the thought of seeing my father again. What would he be like? I had thought that Dad had abandoned us to live with another woman, but the revelation of Kouji made me wonder if that was true.

"He's waiting outside the surgery room," Mom's voice had a certain tone of resignation about it, which puzzled me. Grandma looked at her sharply.

"Tomoko, it wasn't your fault."

"I know," Mom turned to the hospital doors. "Let's go."

I had only been to a hospital once that I could remember, back when I had been about six and Mom had broken her arm. This hospital wasn't the one she had been in, and I mentally contrasted my memories of the bright windows and the waiting room with all the toys with the darker, cooler corridors of this place. Paintings that, according to the card next to them, had been made by recovered patients created tiny splashes of color on an otherwise dull wall. I wondered if they would add one from my brother.

If he survived.

The end of one such hall brought us to a room which bordered an operating room. I could see that the "Operating" light was on, indicating that Kouji seemed to still be alive, at least. As Grandma said, that was a good thing. Two people were sitting together in the assortment of benches and seats, one of them was a nondescript woman with brown hair, who I didn't recognize. The other was a dark-haired man who was most likely my father. As we walked into the room, I saw him wrap his arm around the woman reassuringly.

Wait, if the man was my father, then who was the woman? Was she his wife? Was _she _the reason my father had left us? I felt an icy cold rage form in the pit of my stomach, but stifled it. I didn't know if the woman actually _was _his wife. For all I knew, she could be Dad's sister, or a family friend. Or...

I didn't realize that I had stopped walking until I felt Grandma gently nudge me, then I realized that the man-my _father_!-was standing in front of me. He didn't look very much like me, on the surface all we seemed to have in common was the dark hair. Glasses hid the worry-lines on his face well enough that it took me a moment to notice them, but even I could see how uncomfortable he was. Was it from being in the hospital, or from seeing me and Mom again?

"Kouichi, I'd hoped I would see you again," Dad buried his face in his hands. "But, not like _this_!"

"Has there been any change?" Grandma asked, sparing me the need to find something to say.

"If there was, I'd tell you." Dad ran a hand through his hair. "He's still fighting, he always was a fighter."

As much as I hated Dad for effectively abandoning Mom, and me, I couldn't help feeling some sympathy for him. It wasn't his fault that his son...that my _brother _had been hit by a car. It was so hard to think of even having a brother, let alone one that was my age. I slipped off as they talked to find a seat while I collected my thoughts. Somehow, they became the same thoughts I'd had before: I had a brother. Why hadn't Mom told me about him? I knew that Japanese divorces were supposed to be closer to absolute severances than mere separation, but had Mom been so willing to completely cut him from her life, from my life? My thoughts were starting to run in circles, I realized, but that brought up more questions. Did he know about me? What was he like?

Dad and Grandma had finished talking, and he was now sitting next to the woman again. Mom and Grandma had moved to my other side, leaving me, I thought wryly, stuck in the middle between them. The divide between my parents showed more in those few feet than any words could. What could I do? Or, _should _I do anything? The reasons for the divorce weren't any of my business, and it wasn't like I knew Dad or the woman he was with. I pulled a library book out of my backpack, as if reading could somehow take me away from the unbearable tension.

"I should have said more to him."

I looked up at the unfamiliar voice, then realized that it was the woman who was with Dad. For one moment, I held out hope that she was only his sister, until I saw the rings on both their hands. They were married, _he_ was married. Why had he had left Mom for that woman? She wasn't even pretty!

"It's not your fault," Dad said. "Nobody could see this coming, right?"

_Kouji clearly didn't, _I thought wryly, but kept that tasteless thought to myself. The woman bit off a sob and buried her head in his shoulder, an action that didn't make me feel more than a twinge of sympathy. Nobody said anything for a minute, then the door to the surgery opened and a doctor came out. Dad was instantly on his feet, the woman only a second behind him.

"What's happening? Will he be all right?"

The doctor held up a weary hand to stave off any more questions.

"He's stable for now, Mr. Minamoto. He'll live..."

The relief on the faces of all the adults was almost palpable, but the doctor continued.

"...But, his legs were badly crushed. We're making sure the veins aren't too badly damaged, and that there's still blood flow, but if there isn't we may have to amputate."

The woman who was with Dad sank back into her seat in shock, and Dad looked like he was about to be sick.

"I-is there any way to save them," he asked in a shaky voice.

"If there is, then we will," the doctor told him. "We only use amputation as a last resort, and there's only a chance that it will happen. Right now, we're trying to determine how big that chance is."

"Right." Dad took a deep breath. "Thank you for telling us."

The doctor turned and disappeared back into the surgery. The instant the door closed behind him, the woman-my stepmother, I realized-broke down, sobbing. Dad put his arms around her and held her tight, but I could see his shoulders shaking, too. On my other side, Mom was pale-faced, and I think she was only holding back her own tears by pure will, in an effort to seem stronger than the other woman. Grandma merely looked weary, like she'd simply experienced too much to show it. And me? What did I think, knowing that my newfound brother could lose his legs? I felt empathy for him, but it was a detached kind of empathy. What could I feel? I knew nothing about this Kouji.

"You should go to them, Kouichi."

I turned to look at Grandma in shock. What was she _thinking_?

"Mom!" My mother protested at the same time.

"Kouichi is his son, too. They need every bit of support they can get."

I hesitated. Father or not, brother or not, I didn't know any of them. Besides, who said that they wanted me? For all I knew, I'd be making it worse. After all, I wasn't the one fighting for my life.

"I'll get that book you wanted if you go talk to them," Grandma said.

There was a new book in the bookstore I had been eyeing a couple of days before. While I wanted it, the truth was that I didn't want anything to do with Dad or the woman who had stolen him from Mom. I tried temporizing.

"But, didn't you say we have to save money?"

"This is more important than money, sweetie." She gently pushed me off the chair and nudged me in their direction.

"But, what do _I say_?" I hissed.

"Tell them it will be all right."

And then I was in front of them, and they were both staring at me in bewilderment. I imagined they were wondering what I was doing on their side of the room.

So was I.

The silence was getting awkward. I had to say something.

"I...Grandma says it will be all right."

I heard Grandma groan in exasperation. Well, what was she _expecting_? I wasn't very good with strangers, and she _knew _it. Why couldn't she tell them herself?

"Thank you, Kouichi," Dad said. "He's right, Kouji will be fine."

"But..." The woman protested.

"He's stable now. The doctor said there was only a chance of amputation. Even if that happens..." He looked like he was going to be sick again, but gulped and pressed on. "He'll still be with us."

I tried to smile politely, wondering if I could get away from them, but then Dad spoke again.

"Kouichi, I need to introduce you to your stepmother. This is Satomi."

I wanted to tell them that I wasn't interested in meeting her, that they could both jump in a lake for all I cared, but I couldn't.

"Nice to meet you," I said instead, trying not to sound reluctant.

Satomi was probably a very cheerful person under different circumstances; however, the laugh lines on her face were harder to see under the foggy glasses, puffy, red-rimmed eyes, and tears on both. Still, the brown eyes were kinder than I expected her to be.

"It's nice to meet you too, Kouichi."

I hoped I could keep the interaction to just that, so I wouldn't have to put up with them anymore, but Satomi had other ideas.

"When your father told me Kouji had an identical twin brother, I didn't believe him at first. But, you look so much like him."

"Well, Kouji's hair is longer." Dad reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet. "Would you like to see what he looks like?"

"I think Mom would like to see him more," I said to cover the fact that I really didn't want to.

"Okay, you can show her." Dad pulled a picture out of the wallet and handed it to me. I deliberately didn't look at it as I crossed the room to Mom and Grandma.

"Here, it's Kouji."

Mom's eyes widened and she took the picture with a shaking hand. Grandma leaned over to look over her shoulder.

"That's Kouji?" Mom asked in a hoarse voice, as the tears finally fell down her face.

"He looks just like you, Tomoko."

"Just the hairstyle. His face looks so much like his brother..." Mom bit back a sob.

"Mom, are you all right?" I asked.

"I'm fine, sweetie. I can't help thinking about what you'd be like if..."

"It wasn't your fault the marriage fell through, Tomoko." Grandma put a reassuring hand on her back.

"But, if the divorce never happened, they'd be together and happy..."

"Mom, I'm fine, I..." I was on the verge of telling her that I didn't _need _a brother to be happy, but realized it might not be the best thing to say.

"...The doctor said he's stable now," I said instead. "So I know you'll get to meet him someday."

"You're absolutely right, Kouichi," Grandma said. "The cat's out of the bag now, we can't keep them apart anymore."

I wondered what she meant by that, but she didn't elaborate. After a moment, I shrugged and went back to my seat, my book, and my thoughts. So, Kouji was going to live after all. Not that I had actually wanted him to die or anything, but what would have happened if he had? Mom would have been devastated, her mind constantly going through all the "what might have beens," she'd worry about me more, maybe bury herself in her work in an effort to not dwell on him. I imagined that the death of my brother would have affected her health more than overworking herself, but both would have been bad. So, I should have been glad that he survived, and I was. But, at the same time I was also irritated with all the revelations and disruptions to my life. I looked up at a nearby clock. I would have been getting out of school, and heading to the library, if Kouji hadn't been hurt. That brought up the other complications; what happened to me now that I knew about Kouji? Would we see each other once he was recovered? Would our families continue to remain apart?

"Kouichi," Grandma's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Could you give this back to your father?"

I was extremely tempted to tell her to do it herself instead of using me as a go-between, but that would have got me into big trouble. So I put my book down and reluctantly brought the picture back to my father.

"Thank you, Kouichi." Dad looked at the picture for a moment, his expression one of pure regret. Before I could leave however, he continued.

"Every day I was tempted to tell him about you, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wonder what he'd think of you."

I could only shrug, awkwardly.

"He'll be so angry at me for not telling him if-_when_-he wakes up." Dad's voice broke a little, as did the facade of merely being worried, and I could see how scared he really was. I couldn't help feeling sorry for him; even if he did abandon Mom and me, he didn't deserve to go through this.

"What's he like?" I asked gently.

"He's strong," Dad began. "Independent, mature for someone his age. A lot like your mother was when I first met her."

I wondered what Mom had been like then, but decided not to ask about it.

"He's not the kind of person who interacts with other people easily," the woman-Satomi-said. "He doesn't have many friends, but he's a good kid. He's always polite to me, even though he doesn't really like me as a mother."

"What do you mean by that?" Dad frowned. "You're a good mother."

Satomi made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob.

"Kousei, I know you've been trying to make me accept him as his mother. I heard you two arguing about it when we were at the restaurant the other day."

Dad flinched.

"He doesn't see me as a mother, that's the problem. You've been trying so hard to make me replace his mother that he's been avoiding me when he can. He doesn't _want_ me as his mother."

"Satomi, you know that isn't true..."

"Have you asked him?"

Dad opened his mouth to reply, then suddenly closed it.

"Okay," he said after a pause. "Maybe I did drive a wedge between you two, but what could I do? I didn't want him to only have one parent for the rest of his life, he needed a mother."

"You could have backed off and let us form our own bond, _our_ way!"

This had gone on long enough. Satomi may have been the woman who stole Dad from Mom, but I didn't want to see them argue over this.

"Hey," I intervened. "Look, um, you made mistakes, but he's going to live, right? You have a chance to fix things. D-Dad, you don't have to pretend Satomi is Kouji's new mother anymore, and Satomi..." I struggled to think of something to say. I didn't know these people, I didn't know how their relationships worked. "I...how does Kouji see you?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "He avoids me so often, I don't really know how he sees me. I can't help thinking of all the times I could have said or done something with him, but I couldn't force him to talk to me."

I looked down. This wasn't any of my business; divorces were supposed to be a complete split in Japan, so why was I doing this? For that matter, why had Dad (I assumed it was Dad, at least) told Mom about Kouji's accident in the first place?

"Do you know what he likes to do?" I finally asked. "I mean, the things he can do with other people?"

"There aren't many," Satomi said regretfully. "Not at home, at least."

"Have you tried telling Kouji how you feel? Maybe if he knew you wanted to be with him more, that you don't want to replace Mom, he'd stop avoiding you."

Her eyes widened.

"I never thought about that. I'll have to try it when he-" She cut off suddenly, as if she'd forgotten the situation we were in. I reflected that this time Kouji wouldn't be able to avoid her, but didn't say it out loud. Dad put his arm back around her.

"He'll be fine, remember?"

"I know," she said in a small voice.

Not wishing to interrupt an intimate moment, I turned to slip off again.

"Kouichi."

I stiffened at my father's voice, plastering what I hoped was a sympathetic smile on my face before facing them again.

"I noticed that you didn't look at the picture I gave you earlier. You didn't want to see him, did you?"

I froze, the smile on my face feeling more like a leering rictus, struggling for words, trying to put my complicated emotions into some semblance of order. I didn't _want _to see my brother. Why? I couldn't say. I just _couldn't_. The silence between us stretched, and I finally couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and outright fled to the safety of the chair and my book.

Time crawled by slowly. I finished my book, and had started to read it again to keep anyone from talking to me, when I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got back, Dad and Satomi were on their feet, talking to another doctor. I would have brushed that off, but then I noticed the "operating" light above the surgery was off. It was over, then.

"...He'll need additional surgeries," the doctor was saying. "There's still a possibility that complications could arise, so amputation is not completely out of the question, but for now we'll wait and see."

"Of course." Dad sounded shaken, but pulled himself together. "Will he walk again?"

The doctor shrugged. "As I've said, we haven't ruled out the possibility of complications, but if he gets past them, and if he has the will to re-learn how to walk, he'll do it."

Then, the door to the surgery opened and the rest of the doctors walked out, followed by someone pushing...what was it called? A gurney? An operating table? It didn't matter. Satomi swiftly broke off from the doctor, rushing over to the gurney with tears in her eyes. Mom and Grandma both hesitated at the periphery, as if they didn't want to get too close to Dad or Satomi. I wondered if that was why they had used me as a messenger.

I didn't want to look at my brother, but the gurney was heading right for me. I felt my eyes somehow drawn to the person lying on it, seeing a face that looked very much like my own, hidden under an oxygen mask. For that one instant, he represented everything: The answers to all the secrets my mother and grandmother had kept from me. The reason Mom and Grandma had always somehow seemed so _sad_. The possibility that we could all be happy again.

And then the gurney moved around the corner, and he was gone.

**Author's note: So, here's the other fic I've got that could really be called "in progress" rather than "ran out of steam just as it was starting." The main reason I've stopped working on it is mostly because I don't have the time to research, but also good old writer's block. Yeah, that's been the death of too many of my fics.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story so far.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

By the time I woke up the next morning, Mom and Grandma were both already up. Mom was just getting her jacket on to go to work, while Grandma cleaned dishes in the kitchen. On the surface, an ordinary day. Yet, I could see the subtle differences that had shown up overnight. Grandma seemed more tense than usual, her eyes puffier, the wrinkles more pronounced. Mom was paler, her eyes darkened by slight circles, even though she'd gone to bed at the usual time the night before. She moved with a kind of nervous energy, as if she'd drunk too much caffeine.

"Kouichi?"

I realized I was staring at Mom, and ducked my head to cover it.

"Are you okay to go to work? You look tired," I said instead.

Mom smiled wanly. "Sweetie, I'm all right. I'm just so worried about your brother."

_What about you?_ I thought. _You need to take care of yourself, too._

Something of what I was feeling must have shown on my face, because Mom reached over and stroked my cheek.

"Kouichi, you don't have to worry about me. I'll take a long nap after I get home, all right?"

"Yeah," I tried to put the smile I didn't feel on my face. Mom was already pushing herself too hard to keep ahead of the bills and keep the rest of us happy. Would she be coming home with a fever again?

By the time I'd finished getting dressed, Mom was already gone, and Grandma had my breakfast on the table.

"Your mother wrote a note for your teachers, in case someone asks," she said. I reflected that after being pulled from class like that, the odds of that happening were low. The teachers were almost as bad as my classmates at gossiping, so by now the entire school probably knew that I'd been pulled from class due to a relative being injured.

"I'll meet you at the entrance when you get out, and we'll go check on your brother."

I stiffened. Wait, she wanted to see Kouji? But, he was going to live, it wasn't like he was in danger anymore. No, why was I surprised? He was my brother, and it would make Grandma happy, I told myself.

So, why did I feel resentment at the mere mention of him?

The hospital was as dour as it had been the day before. This time when Grandma brought me into the lobby, she stopped at the desk long enough to ask where the Minamoto boy had been moved to. Then, it was into the elevator, down more drab halls, to another waiting area. Satomi was already sitting on one of the benches. She was looking much better than she had the day before, although the dark circles under her eyes were just as prominent as the ones under Mom's.

"You made it! Kousei wasn't sure if you'd come."

"Well, I believe this family's been driven apart too long. Tomoko's staying away however." Grandma tilted her head. "So, how's he doing? Any improvement?"

"The doctors say that he's doing fine, so far. There's no complications, but..." Satomi shuddered. "He's in a medical coma, and the doctors say he'll be like that for a few days before they'll bring him out of it."

"Ah. We never were formally introduced, were we?" Grandma sat down on the bench next to her.

"I'm Aoi Kimura, Kouji's grandmother."

"I'm Satomi, Kousei's..." She cut off abruptly as the door opened and Dad came out.

"Satomi, I-oh, hello Aoi, Kouichi." He favored me with an awkward smile. "I wasn't expecting you two..."

He shook his head. "Never mind. Hey Kouichi, Kouji's got a friend visiting, he just went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Do you want to join him?"

"I...guess," I said, mostly to be polite. The truth was, I would have preferred finding some private nook away from my family and reading for a while. I had to read a book for one of my classes.

"Sure." Dad reached into his pocket and pulled out some money. "Get yourself anything you want, and keep the change. His friend's your age. Brown hair, brown eyes, red shirt, brown hat."

"Okay." That was a lot of money he'd just handed me, more than enough for me. I decided to use the change to buy something nice for Mom later.

The hospital's cafeteria was, like the rest of the place, starkly utilatarian. On my first glance, I didn't see any children there, let alone someone who looked matched the description Dad had given me. Maybe I'd missed him coming down the elevator or something. Not that I minded, of course. I personally just wanted to be someplace quiet to read for a while. I picked up a tray and started to get into the line.

"_Kouji?!"_

That was the friend, then. I turned to see a brown-haired boy with a red shirt and a brown hat with goggles on it staring at me as if I were some kind of zombie. It might have been funnier if I actually _was _Kouji. The boy stared at me for a moment more before comprehension set into his eyes.

"Wait, never mind. You're his brother, right? Your dad said something about Kouji having a brother."

"Yeah." I turned back to the line, waiting for the person in front of me to get their food.

"But, Kouji always said his mother died when he was really little, then you turn up. What happened?"

My mind went blank. All I could think of was how my father could lie like that. Where did he get the colossal _nerve_ to say Mom was dead?

"Hey, you okay?" The other boy looked at me in confusion. I struggled to pull myself together, because it wasn't this boy's fault that my father had lied.

"C-can we wait until I'm done buying food to discuss this?" I asked pointedly.

"Huh? Sure. My name's Takuya by the way, Takuya Kanbara."

I grabbed a plate of food and put it on my tray. "Kouichi Kimura. Nice to meet you."

He apparently didn't hear the slight irritation in my voice, nor did he stop staring at me curiously. I grabbed a drink, paid for the meal, and then nearly bumped into him on my way out.

"Excuse me," I said trying to maintain the veneer of politeness.

"Sorry. Hey, I'm sitting over there. C'mon, let's go!"

He grabbed my arm, almost making me lose the tray, and started pulling me over towards the nearby table and seats with a nearly-finished meal on them, all of which were a bit too close to the line for my liking. I wanted to object, but he was a friend of Kouji's, and it was the polite thing to do. I let him lead me to the table.

"Okay, spill it. You're Kouji's brother? What's your story?"

I stifled the urge to glare at him. He was so _nosy_...

"I don't know much about what's going on. All I know is that my parents are divorced, and I suddenly have a brother. Mom and Grandma didn't tell me anything about him until yesterday."

"So, your mom's still alive?"

"Yeah." I took a bite of food.

"Okay, Kouji's not going to be happy with his dad about that. What about you?"

"Huh?"

"What are you like? Where do you live? I mean, I know Kouji's probably going to find out for himself when he wakes up, but I want to know too. I'm his best friend, and I'm probably the one who knows him the best at this point. Besides, I've got nobody to hang out with until he wakes up."

I hesitated. True, this boy Takuya was somewhat annoying, but he didn't seem like a bad kid. Merely extremely tactless and nosy. What did I have to lose in talking to him for a while?

"I'm...not much of a talker."

"Neither is Kouji."

I looked up at him in surprise. He had a goofy smile on his face, as if nothing could faze him.

"He's probably worse than _you _are when it comes to interacting with other people."

That wasn't something I was expecting to hear.

"H-he is?"

"Yeah. He's very prickly, like a cactus. Most of the time when we're in public, he tries to ignore me, or calls me an idiot when I put my foot in my mouth. But, once you get past all that he's a good guy."

"Oh." I shifted my gaze back down to my food, and took another bite.

"So, you live with your mom?"

I nodded, my mouth too full to say anything.

"That's really neat. Kouji will want to meet her when he..." He hesitated for a moment, and I saw the same worry and fear and sadness in his eyes that the other members of my family had when their guard was down. "...When he wakes up."

"You're really worried about him."

"I knew he was absent from school yesterday, but I thought he was just sick. I didn't know he'd been in an accident until I called his phone afterwards, and your dad answered. I should have been there waiting with you guys. My best friend was injured, and might have been _dying_, but I couldn't get past the hospital's security. It was 'family members only.' I was so angry, I mean, why _shouldn't_ I be there ...?"

His voice was rising to louder than the acceptable level. I swallowed, then cut him off.

"You think of him as family?"

He stopped his tirade and looked at me in surprise before answering.

"I mean, he's not _family_-family, but he's the next best thing. He's not a pain like my little brother is, he's more like a cousin. Not close enough that we're getting on each other's nerves, but we hang out together all the time."

"How long have you known him?" I asked politely.

"Two and a half years now. It was just after his...sorry, _your _father remarried, I remember that he wasn't too thrilled about it."

I shrugged, and took a sip from my drink.

"Anyway, they'd just moved to this part of the city. Your father had been transferred and was working at a firm a couple of blocks away from the school, so Kouji had to go to school here. I remember how he walked in. He was even worse back then than he was now, all stiff and prickly. He'd chew out anyone who tried to talk to him, unless it was the teacher. He didn't even sit with anyone at lunch!"

He said that like it was somehow a major offense to sit alone.

"So? Neither do I."

"You don't…" His eyes widened a bit before the too cheerful smile was back. "Sorry. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but...he seemed so lonely. Are you lonely, too?"

I quickly buried my irritation and terror at being asked such a blunt, piercing question.

"No."

"Oh, my bad. Hey, where's your mom? Is she upstairs?"

I stiffened at the question. Sure, it was a reasonable one, but something about it just irked me. Maybe it was the resentment I felt towards Kouji at how much he was interrupting my life. Mom was working so hard that she couldn't come home to make money for me and Grandma, for _me_, and not for Kouji, who didn't even know she was alive!

"I came with my Grandma," I said forcing down the bottled-up temper. "Mom's busy working so we can afford to pay the bills."

There was an awkward pause for a few minutes as Takuya struggled to find something to say, and I shoved food into my mouth as quickly as possible so that he'd stop asking me questions.

"Sorry," Takuya finally said. "I didn't know."

I gulped down my food before reluctantly giving him the point. "There was no way you could have, it's not like anyone ever said anything."

"I think that saying things might be something your family needs to work on. I mean, if your father told Kouji before...yesterday, he would have met you by now."

"I know." How would I have felt if a boy who looked like me came walking in out of the blue, saying he was my brother? It probably wouldn't have been as easy as Takuya made it sound, but then again it might have been easier than what we had now.

Takuya looked at me seriously for a moment before getting that big goofy grin again.

"Hey, it's not like it's too late or anything. You'll meet him when he wakes up, right? In fact, we might be able to see him now even!"

I looked down at the pitiful remains of my meal and realized that I couldn't put it off much longer, I'd have to go upstairs again. If there had been any choice, I would have stayed in the cafeteria rather than deal with Dad again, but there wasn't. Instead, I finished my food, then reluctantly followed Takuya back into the elevator, down the sterile corridors, and to the waiting alcove.

"Kouichi!" Grandma exclaimed as we entered. "How was the food? And you must be Kouji's friend."

"Yeah, I'm Takuya Kanbara. Can we go see him yet? I know the lady at the desk said it was family only, but he's my best friend."

Grandma made a rude sound. "Family only? Doesn't she know friends _are_ family? We should send Kouichi in, too."

I flinched.

"That's a good idea," Satomi said. "I'll get Kousei out, then you two can go in for a few minutes."

She darted through the door, coming out with my father in tow a couple of seconds later.

"Try not to touch anything," Dad told us. "I got chewed out by the nurse for trying to move the seat. There's a lot of delicate equipment in there."

"Okay!" Before I could react, Takuya grabbed my arm and pulled me with him through the open door. I barely had time to object before he stopped so suddenly I nearly plowed into him.

The boy I had only caught a fleeting glimpse of the day before was on the bed, under an oxygen mask and surrounded by beeping, flashing machinery. Wires and tubes extended from his body, making him look artificial instead of human, an impression enhanced by the unmoving alabaster face which looked so much like mine. Oddly, the only thing that made him seem human was the massive bruise extending down his cheek.

"_Kouji_…"

The shock and grief in Takuya's voice was starkly evident in that one word, and I had to remind myself that the boy…Kouji…

…My _brother_…

Had been-_was_! A normal boy with a normal life.

…_until yesterday._

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked Takuya. He staggered forward, his eyes only on the pale face, before nearly collapsing into the chair next to the bed.

"I've never seen him with his hair down," he said in a numb voice.

Sure enough, the boy's long black hair was spread out behind him, like mist. I realized that the quick glimpses I'd taken from the day before, both physically and anecdotally from Dad and Satomi, were absolutely nothing. I didn't _know_ Kouji. He wasn't a brother, or even a person, as much as something abstract.

"He never took his hair down no matter how many times the girls in class asked him to." Takuya uttered a weak laugh. "They always wanted to braid it."

"I thought I had long hair." Okay, that was something dumb to say. I flinched, then looked down as Takuya swiveled to look at me intently.

"There are differences between you two."

"That's because we're different people."

Takuya ignored my sarcasm. "Yeah, that's the point. You _are_ different people. I mean, when I see twins on TV, they all dress and act exactly the same. I've been treating you the same way I've been treating Kouji, but you _aren't_ Kouji."

Before I could say anything, he continued. "I want to learn more about you. I mean it, I want to know how I should act around you. I want to know how to help Kouji act around you, too."

To be honest, I didn't want anything to do with Takuya. He was another abstract, a friend of my brother's. A pushy, loud, unsubtle abstract. I didn't want anything to do with Kouji, either. Brother or not, all I wanted to do was get back to my normal life, and the only reason I hadn't just slipped out at the first chance was because Grandma wouldn't have been happy with me.

"Look," I said politely. "I don't live anywhere near here, so I don't think I'll see you, or him, too often, okay?"

"Where do you live?"

I stifled the urge to tell him it wasn't his business. "About a half-hour from here by train. We took the taxi here, so it was faster."

I shifted my gaze to the form lying in the bed in an effort to end the conversation. A face that looked like mine, huh? I shouldn't have been feeling like this, he was my brother. I felt a thread of guilt at the emotions I felt that I shouldn't have, and the emotions I _should_ have felt, but didn't. Joy at seeing him alive, pain because he was reduced to this state, anger at the person who'd done this to him. All I could feel was the same detached sympathy I had felt ever since Grandma had first told me about him, plus the same forbidden impatient urge to go back to my life.

What was _wrong_ with me?

"I have a brother, too."

Something about Takuya's voice made me look up at him.

"His name's Shinya, and he's a major pain in the...in the butt."

I could only shrug.

"But he's still my brother, and I try to get along with him."

"That's nice."

"You're going to be different, you and Kouji I mean. It's going to be a lot harder for you than it is for me and Shinya. You're still adjusting to having a brother, and you look like you're having trouble doing it."

"I'm fine," I said automatically. "You don't have to worry about me."

Takuya looked at me strangely for a moment before continuing.

"I just want you to know that if it all gets to be too much, I'm here if you need to talk about it."

"I told you, I'm fine. Besides, I don't live anywhere near here, so I won't be seeing him too often."

_If at all._

"So? That doesn't mean _we_ won't see each other. Hey, tomorrow's Saturday, so that's a half-day of school. Maybe we can hang out or something afterwards."

He just wasn't getting it.

"I have things I need to do," I protested, trying to maintain the veneer of politeness. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to be busy tomorrow."

"Oh really?" He grinned awkwardly. "That's too bad. Maybe the day after that?"

It took all of my strength not to snap at him. In the end, I decided to end the conversation right there by turning around and leaving.

"Hey, where are you-!" The protest was drowned out by the door closing.

"Kouichi?"

I flinched. In all the arguing, I'd forgotten about Grandma. I felt my gaze drop to the floor, ashamed of arguing in front of her like that.

"I understand," she said. "It hurt me to look at him, too."

Wait, what? She must have mistaken me leaving in a hurry for something else. I decided not to correct her.

"Would it be okay if I go home now?" I asked. "I can just take the train."

"Sure, sweetie. I'll be home before dinner."

I ignored the knot of guilt in my stomach for lying to her and leaving like that, but I was out of my depth. I simply didn't want to put up with all the strangeness anymore, and the thought kept me going as I stepped into the elevator. There wasn't anything wrong with not taking it anymore.

But...

I sighed and leaned my head against the side of the elevator. There were a thousand "buts." But, Kouji was my brother. But, they were family, and a friend of my brother. But, why was I turning my back on them all?

But, what gave _them _the right to shove their lives on mine? But Takuya wasn't my friend, he was Kouji's. But, it wasn't Kouji's fault things had turned out like this. But, he was still a complete stranger to me.

But, why was I there in the first place?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning, I knew that Grandma would try to bring me to the hospital again. I didn't want to be dragged into anything by Kouji's friend, and I didn't want anything to do with Dad, especially after finding out he'd told Kouji that Mom was dead. So in the end I simply stayed on my futon with my back to the door, and mumbled something about not feeling too well when Grandma pressed me to get up for the half-day of school.

"You're not feeling well?" She sounded surprised. I felt guilty about lying to her like that, but it was the easiest way I could think of to avoid any unnecessary conflicts at the hospital.

"Yeah, I think it's just an upset stomach." I tried to make my voice sound pathetic. "Sorry, I don't think I should go to the hospital today."

"It's okay sweetie." I felt her hand ruffling my hair. "You just stay here and recover. I'll call your mom from the hospital and tell her to pick up some chicken soup on the way back from work."

I really felt bad for lying to her about being sick and for missing school, but I had no other choice. Once Grandma had left, I curled up with a book and a warm fluffy blanket on the couch, but it didn't stop the guilt. Why was I doing this? Why was I avoiding the problem my brother, and everyone I associated with him, posed? Because of his family? Because of that nosy friend of his? My thoughts ran in circles between selfish justification and guilty accusation. This was getting me nowhere! I buried my face in the book and pulled the blanket tighter, as if the print in my face would make it easier to read.

The ringing phone almost made me drop my book in surprise. Who would...? Most likely Mom or Grandma calling to make sure I was all right. A quick glance at the clock as I got up revealed the time to be early afternoon. I looked down at the pajamas I was wearing ruefully, but the phone's demanding noise spurred me to pick it up.

"Hello?" I croaked in what I hoped was a tired voice.

"Kouichi!" The too-cheerful unfamiliar voice took me aback.

"Who...?"

"Oh, sorry. It's me, Takuya. Your grandmother gave me your number, she said you weren't feeling too good, so I thought I'd call you."

I nearly slammed the phone down, but stopped at the last instant.

"I'm doing better, thank you."

"Yeah, you don't sound too bad."

"Was there anything else?" I managed to ground out, gritting my teeth in pure frustration and trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum.

"Yeah. I wanted to apologize for scaring you away yesterday."

I frowned at the phone. What was this?

"What are you saying?"

"Just what I said. It was kind of obvious you didn't want to hang out with me, and I shouldn't have pushed you like that. It scared you away."

The rancor in me died down a bit. At least he admitted he'd made a mistake.

"And it's _boring_ out here," he continued. "It's either stay here and be bored, or go home and get stuck with Shinya all day. That twerp put salt in my drink when I wasn't looking, and Mom's been on the warpath."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Hey, you...aren't really sick, are you?"

I froze, the phone sinking in a suddenly clammy hand.

"Kouichi?" The voice was quieter, as if sensing my terror at being caught in a lie. "Sorry, that wasn't something you wanted to talk about, was it?"

"What makes you think I'm not sick?"

"Huh? I guessed. You don't sound like you're sick. You didn't come with your grandmother, and the way you reacted yesterday...you didn't look like you wanted anything to do with the rest of us, so I figured you faked being sick to stay at home so you wouldn't have to see us. 'Course, I could be wrong."

I staggered to lean against the wall. How had he known what I was feeling? _How_?

"Kouichi?" Takuya's voice broke the awkward silence. "I did it again, didn't I? If you don't want to talk about it, then I won't. Are you going to be here tomorrow?"

"Probably." I could only fake being sick for so long before Grandma got suspicious.

"Good, maybe Kouji will be awake before then. I guess the doctors say he's going to be waking up soon. I mean, he's your brother and all, and I want you to be there when he wakes up."

Takuya wanted me to be there for Kouji. He wanted to be my friend, too. Did I want him for a friend? He wasn't the type of person I'd be friends with; Nosy? Very. Loud? Definitely. He seemed to be the kind of person who I avoided. But, he admitted his mistakes, and he was Kouji's friend. By the few accounts I'd heard, Kouji wasn't an easy person to get along with, either.

How would he react to me?

"How did you become friends with Kouji?" I asked out loud.

"Eh?" The question had clearly taken him by surprise. "Um, it didn't happen quickly, if that's what you mean. He's changed a lot from when we first met, back then he kept to himself all the time, kind of like I've seen you do, but glaring at everyone who tried getting close to him. About a month after he came, I had to work with him on a project, but once we were working together I couldn't help trying to get close to him, even if he snapped at me a lot. I don't know why, I did it, it just felt like the right thing to do."

Takuya paused thoughtfully, no doubt thinking about a different Kouji than the boy lying in the hospital.

"We were working on that project for a couple of weeks, and even before it was over Kouji started to change. He was still anti-social and snappish, but it wasn't aimed at me as often as it was the other students. That's when I figured he needed a friend for longer than one project, so I tried what I was doing to do to you, worm my way closer. Find excuses to get to his place, or to get him to mine. Talk him into doing things he wouldn't normally do. He grumbled about it a _lot_, but he rarely said no. Before I knew it, I was thinking of him as my best friend."

"That's really sweet," I said.

"Yeah, he still calls me an idiot, but only when I've done something to deserve it. But, it's going to be different being friends with you. Kouji tends to act all defensive when he's in an unfamiliar situation. I know I don't know you very well, but from what I've seen, you're more the type to run or hide..."

Takuya's voice faltered and died.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," he finished in a too-cheerful voice. "Me and my big mouth!"

I looked down. The truth, as much as it hurt, was that he was right. All I'd wanted in those last few days was to run home and stay there, as if that would make my life normal again.

"No, you're right," I cut off Takuya's apology. "It needed to be said."

The admission shocked Takuya into momentary silence before he found his voice again.

"So, I'll see you here tomorrow? I promise I won't try to pressure you into anything."

"Could I have that in writing?" I asked wryly.

Takuya snorted into his phone before actually laughing.

"S-sorry, you sounded a lot like Kouji there."

"Does he always say things like that?"

"Most of the time. He's a bit of a jerk, but I'm used to it."

I paused a bit before asking my next question.

"How will he react to me?"

"Kouji?" Takuya was silent for a moment, mulling it over. "It's kinda hard to say. He probably won't be very happy, but not because of anything _you_ did. He grew up thinking he was an only child and that your mom was dead. He'll definitely blame your dad, and Satomi, and he probably won't be very nice to you at the start. I think he might be jealous of you because you got to live with your mom, but he'll settle down eventually. Once all that's over with, he'll like you. I know I do so far."

I felt my face growing hot.

"Thanks for the support," I mumbled, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. I hardly even knew Takuya, why was he so keen on being friends with me?

_Because he's already friends with Kouji, _I reminded myself. At this rate, I was going to know both of them far more than I wanted to.

Maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

The next morning started with loud voices jarring me out of sleep.

"They're _brothers_, Tomoko. They shouldn't have been kept apart so long..."

"Mom, you just don't get it!" My mother's voice held every ounce of exasperation. What was going on? I pulled myself out of the futon and shambled towards the slightly ajar bedroom door.

"The divorce was final. _Final_." Mom's voice continued. "We have no more connections with Kousei!"

"Then, what do you call Kouji?"

I could barely see the edge of Grandma's flushed face in the door crack. Why were they arguing? While Mom and Grandma had their disagreements, they were very rarely this bad.

"He's Kousei's son, just as Kouichi is mine!" Mom snapped.

"That's crazy, Tomoko. _You're_ the one who gave birth to him. Kouji's _your _son too, and Kouichi's brother. We can no longer just brush him under a rug and deny his existence."

"Mom, you know the laws..."

"Yes, and Kousei broke them the other day by telling us about the accident. Just because the laws say Kouichi can't see Kouji doesn't mean they're right."

"But, you can't be bringing him to the hospital. You shouldn't do it."

"You mean _you _can't do it."

A palpable silence ensued. I caught the edge of Mom's pale face through the crack.

"I talked with Kousei yesterday," Grandma continued. "And he says that he's fine with Kouichi and I visiting, laws or not. He also says that you're welcome to come if he's not there."

"Mom, he _can't_ go!"

"Tomoko," Grandma's voice held an unusually hard edge. "Just let it go. What happened is in the past, and if Kousei can get past it, so can you."

And her figure moved out of my sight. I gently closed the door as I withdrew from the crack, shuddering. I knew that Mom didn't like the thought of me being with my father, but I had no idea she was that _angry_ over it. I stepped back over to the futon and lay down, wondering would happen next. Would she forbid me from seeing Kouji?

But, I reluctantly realized that Grandma was right. Even if I didn't really want to meet Kouji, even if all I wanted to do was get back to my life, he was still my brother. It just didn't feel, well, _right_ to keep me away from him, even with the laws. I rolled over so my back was to the door. What should I do? It wasn't like Mom had forbidden me to see Kouji yet...

...But, what would I do if she did?

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the bedroom door.

"Kouichi?" It was Grandma. "Are you feeling better? Because breakfast is ready."

I rolled up to my feet again and slumped out of the bedroom. For a moment, it looked like the argument I'd witnessed had never happened, until I saw the stiffness of Grandma's shoulders, the flush of anger in Mom's face. The way they carefully avoided looking or talking to each other as we ate breakfast. How Mom ate quicker than usual, and wordlessly started getting ready for work, and how Grandma ate her food almost robotically, not relaxing until after Mom had left.

"Kouichi, I'm going to the hospital," she finally said. "Do you want to come?"

I gulped down some food before answering.

"His friend wanted me to come."

"I'm sure he did. He was asking about you yesterday. Did he call you?"

"...Yeah."

Grandma smiled approvingly. "I think he'll be happy to see you. He was cooped up in that waiting room all day with no one his age to talk to. Oh, and before I forget again, here."

She got up and got a book off the nearby shelf. I recognized it as the book she'd bribed me into talking to Dad with on that first day.

"Grandma, you didn't have..."

"I told you I'd get it for you, sweetie. It'll give you something to do when we get there."

I remembered how dull the wait was at the hospital, and nodded.

After breakfast, we took the train to the hospital rather than a taxi. It was longer than taking a taxi, and we arrived in mid-morning. This time, Dad was in the waiting room by himself.

"Hey, glad you could make it, Kouichi. You feeling better?"

"Yeah," I mumbled quietly, trying to hide my guilt over that.

"Good. The doctors are running some tests on Kouji's legs, so we can't go in yet, but they say so far he's responding better than they thought. He should be waking up any day now."

"That's good news," Grandma said.

"I know." For one moment, Dad's mask dropped and I could see the combination of dread, fear, and worry in his face. Then, he was back to smiling brightly, the dark circles under his eyes the only clues otherwise.

"Takuya's not here yet," he continued. "He likes to sleep in on weekends, he'll probably be here soon."

"Where's Satomi?" Grandma asked.

"Home. She had work to catch up on. I do too, but my boss gave me more time off."

"Really?" Grandma asked, as the conversation quickly turned to his job and other things that didn't concern me. I tuned them out, preferring to settle down in a nearby seat and pull the book out to read.

"So, how are you holding up, Kouichi?"

I flinched and looked up at my father. The same man who'd told my brother that Mom had died. The same man who'd walked out on us all these years ago.

"I-I'm doing all right," I lied.

Dad gave me a bright grin.

"That's great. How's your mother holding up? We didn't talk much the other day."

The question took me by complete surprise.

"I…I guess. I know she's worried about Kouji, but I haven't really talked to her about all this."

I didn't tell him about the conversation I'd overheard that morning, but I think something about me must have shown how uncomfortable I was. Dad's smile turned sympathetic, and he sat down next to me.

"That's okay, you've been going through a lot with all this happening."

I nodded politely, then buried myself in my book, hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions. It was a vain hope.

"So, how's school going?"

"Pretty good," I mumbled.

"What's your favorite class?"

"Um, art. Or going to the library."

"You like books? What's your favorite?"

"Don't have one." Dad wouldn't leave me alone! He was almost as bad as Takuya, especially since he was leaning towards me in an apparent effort to look at the page I'd been reading.

"You don't have one?"

"He likes them all!" Grandma laughed from where she'd taken a seat.

"N-not all," I stuttered, "Just the good ones."

"The good ones?" Dad asked leaning even closer. I flinched slightly, wishing I could just snap and walk out on him like I had with Takuya, but I couldn't with Grandma there. All I could do was answer the question.

"Fantasy, history. Stuff like that."

"Really?" He was close enough to barely brush against my sleeve. I subtly began leaning away from him.

"Yeah."

Thankfully, the elevator dinging, followed by the sound of pounding feet heralded Takuya's arrival.

"Sorry I'm late," he gasped. "Mom wouldn't let me go until I did chores."

"You aren't late," Dad said. "The doctors are looking at Kouji now, so we have to wait out here."

Takuya glanced at the closed door. "So, how long are they going to be there?"

"The doctors said a couple of hours. They want to make sure…" Dad's voice faltered slightly. "His legs are getting enough blood…"

"…_So they won't have to amputate,"_ The words were unspoken, but Dad might as well have said them out loud. I don't think Takuya noticed, however.

"Then, can Kouichi and I go get something to eat? I didn't have time for breakfast."

"I just had breakfast before we left…" But, I didn't feel comfortable sitting around in a hospital. I felt less comfortable with Dad practically reading over my shoulder. Maybe going with Takuya was a good idea.

"…But, I think I can get a drink or something," I finished.

"Cool. Can we go outside of the hospital this time? The food here's a bit expensive, and I know a better place that's like a block away."

"Sure. In fact…" Dad reached into his pocket as I stood and handed me a wad of bills. "Get anything you want. I still owe you some birthday and Christmas presents."

I felt my face grow hot. "I, uh, thanks."

"So, how much did he give you?" Takuya asked when we were in the elevator.

"I don't know," I admitted. I flipped through the bills, only to find my eyes bulging. This was way too much!

"He gave you all that? He doesn't normally give Kouji that much." Takuya paused. "Then again, he hasn't seen you in how many years?"

"Nine," I said automatically.

"Nine? No wonder you don't remember Kouji. So, you were two when your parents split up?"

"I think so."

"Kouji never said how old he was when he lost his-_your_ mother. I think it hurt him to talk about her."

The elevator doors opened and I followed him out.

"What's going on with your mother, anyway? Is she always working?"

"Yes." I didn't want to talk about Mom's job with a stranger.

"Really? What's she do?"

"Secretary," I said in a tone to discourage further questions.

"Secretary? Couldn't she get time off? I mean, Kouji's her son."

I stiffened, remembering Mom's words from that morning. "_He's Kousei's son, just as Kouichi is mine…"_

"Kouichi?" Takuya looked at me in confusion. "Are you all right? I did it again, didn't I?"

"It's all right." I tried to relax a bit, and to choose my words carefully. "It's…I think Mom's still hurting over the divorce. I don't think she likes us coming here."

His eyes widened, and he was silent for a moment.

"Do you think she'll forbid you from coming here?"

"I don't know," I said faintly.

He gave me a sympathetic glance before diverting his path to a nearby restaurant.

"This is it."

"An ice cream place?"

"Yeah, and a grill. They also sell okonomiyaki. It's much cheaper than the hospital, I wouldn't have been able to afford much there, since I don't get my allowance until tomorrow."

We ordered our food, or rather Takuya ordered his food. I was content with getting a drink, then we sat down in a nearby booth to wait for Takuya's food to cook.

"So, what about you?" Takuya asked as I sipped my drink.

"Huh?"

"What do you like to do? I mean, if we're gonna be friends, I don't want to scare you off again. Besides, all I've been hearing about you is how you feel about Kouji."

I looked down shyly. "I like books. Art class, writing, birds."

"Birds?"

"Grandma took me to a zoo once when I was about seven, they had a bird show and I got selected to hold a parrot for a while. Ever since then, I've liked birds." I felt myself smiling at the memories. The happy sound of the bird's chatter, the feeling of the beak pulling on my hair.

Takuya stared at me for a moment, then he grinned.

"It's funny, you look so much like Kouji, but your face just then—you didn't look anything like him!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Your expression. Normally Kouji just frowns, he looks really serious or intimidating, or he'll do this quick smirk. He hardly ever smiles like that."

"He never smiles?" What kind of life did my brother lead?

"Well, he's been doing it more since I became his friend. I talked to Satomi about it once, she thinks he never looks happy because your dad moved around a lot. He never had much time to make friends, and was always just an outsider. That's why he's so defensive all the time and doesn't smile much."

Now it was my turn to stare. Had Dad mentioned anything about moving around a lot? I didn't think so.

"But like I said," Takuya continued. "He's been smiling more since I met him. He smiles differently from you, too. It's quicker, and sharper than yours."

"Oh."

That was when the number for Takuya's order was called, and he quickly sprang up to get it. Then, his mouth was too full for conversation.

For a few minutes, at least.

"It's funny," he said gulping down a mouthful. "All this time I've been talking about you and Kouji's family, but this whole thing gives me a new appreciation for mine. I mean, I don't know what I'd do if it was Shinya who got hit instead of Kouji."

"Shinya? That's your brother?"

"Yeah. He's seven. He's this big brat, and Mom always takes his side because he's _little._ I mean, we argue all the time, but he's my _brother._"

He said that last word as if it explained everything. To Takuya, the word clearly meant more to him than it did to me.

"What about your parents?" I asked.

"My Dad works as a construction supervisor. He also coaches my youth soccer team. My mom works part-time as a librarian in the mornings, she says it's a change from dealing with me and Shinya afterwards."

I envied him. I couldn't deny it. Two working parents and a stable family, both emotionally and financially. _But, it wasn't his fault,_ I reminded myself. It wasn't _anyone's_ fault we'd ended up like this.

"Kouji keeps telling me I'm lucky," Takuya continued. "I mean, I don't feel lucky sometimes. In fact, _I _envy _him _because he doesn't have to deal with Shinya, but then I didn't have to deal with his—_your_ father moving around. What about you? I know you live with your mother and grandma, but what are they like?"

"We're close," I said hesitantly. "It's not easy, Grandma had to retire from her job a year ago, and money's been tighter than it used to be, but we all support each other."

"Really?" Takuya grinned broadly, and I found myself returning it.

"Yeah."

"So, you like books...there's a bookstore on the way to the hospital, d'you want to stop there and check it out? I mean, I've already got something to keep me entertained while we're at the hospital," he pulled a handheld video game system out of his pocket. "But you might need something."

"I've already got a book, but I'd like to go look at least," I said shyly.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

That night began slightly unusually in that Mom had managed to get out of work early, enough that we could all eat dinner together while it was still warm. She and Grandma were doing the dishes while I had retired to the bedroom and started doing my homework for the night when the phone rang. I looked up through the open door long enough to see that Grandma was already getting it, so I shrugged and started figuring out the next problem when Grandma hung up the phone.

"Kouji's awake!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Kouji's awake!"

For a moment, none of us moved.

"Kouichi sweetie, could you get the phone book?" Grandma asked. "I need to call a taxi."

"Mom!" My mother protested. "We can't just barge in on them…"

"We're not barging in, Kousei asked us to come."

"But, the laws…"

"Tomoko, this isn't something to argue about. We're Kouji's family, too. We're going to the hospital, and that includes you!"

Mom looked like she'd rather jump into a lake instead. All I could do was do go and grab the phone book for Grandma. Did I want to meet Kouji? Well, everything except Mom was pointing in the direction of _yes_, and to be honest I did want to meet him, a little. Why was I feeling so reluctant? The question didn't stop bothering me even as we all bundled into the taxi. Was it because the idea of having a brother was so new to me? Was it because I was jealous of the life he seemed to lead? Or was it something else entirely?

This time the drab halls of the hospital were lit by ceiling lights that somehow seemed unnatural. Too bright, if that was the word for it. Dad was standing in the waiting area, talking-_arguing_\- with a doctor.

"…He's barely even awake!" The doctor was saying. "He's still heavily sedated! You can't just foist more people on him!"

"They're _family,_" Dad retorted. "And Kouji's stronger than he looks. He can handle three more people!"

"Perhaps." The doctor's voice dripped cool disapproval. "But if I see any signs that he's had too much, I can kick you out of there."

Dad nodded agreement, then noticed us standing there.

"Glad you could make it," he said in a much happier voice.

Mom ignored him, turning instead to the doctor.

"I'm Kouji's mother. When can we see him?"

The doctor made a face.

"It's two people in at a time, and Mrs. Minamoto is already with him. Only one of you can go in right now. Try not to talk to him too much, he's under a lot of stress right now."

"Thank you." Mom bowed politely to him before turning to the door and walking in.

"How's he doing?" Grandma asked.

"Groggy." Dad shook his head. "I know I should have waited until he wasn't so out of it, but I couldn't leave you guys out, even with the laws. Besides, him being so groggy means he was less inclined to blow up at me because I finally told him I'd been lying to him all these years."

The door opened again, and Satomi came out.

"I feel like a third wheel on a bicycle," she said.

"That can't be helped," Dad replied. "But if you're out, maybe Kouichi could go in."

I flinched.

"Grandma can go first," I said politely.

"Kouichi?" Grandma asked in surprise.

"Well, you've known him since he was a baby, right? Besides, you deserve to meet him. I can wait a few more minutes."

Grandma stood up and ruffled my hair.

"You're so sweet, Kouichi." And she was off and through the door almost as quickly as Mom.

"She must really want to meet him," Satomi remarked.

"Well, she's missed him for an awful long time." Dad turned to me. "And I'll bet Kouichi's nervous about meeting him, right?"

"You're wrong," I lied. "I'd be happy to meet him."

Dad raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. I settled down in a nearby seat, wishing that I'd brought my homework, or at least had finished it before Dad called. Oh, I could do it in the morning, but it would mean getting up earlier.

Dad suddenly sat down next to me.

"I know you don't want to meet him," he said in an undertone. "I want you to know that you don't have to pretend to like him. Kouji's hard to get along with, so anything that happens between you will take time."

I pretended to smile at him, then his attention was diverted by Satomi sitting on his other side. He put his arm around her, a gesture that shouldn't have meant anything, but to me it did. He was in love with another woman. Maybe he wasn't a bad person, but he'd still left Mom and myself for Satomi. That was something I couldn't forgive him for.

About ten minutes later, the door opened and Grandma came out, wiping happy tears from her eyes.

"You can go in now, sweetie," she said. I pulled myself to my feet, trying not to show how reluctant I was, trying not to look nervous, and trying to plaster something resembling a smile on my face, trying not to show fear or anger.

He was only my brother, after all.

The room was the same as it had been before, as it had been when the nurse had allowed Takuya and myself in for another brief glimpse of him earlier that afternoon, I told myself. Mom stood by the chair positively beaming through happy tears with the biggest, happiest smile I'd seen on her in years.

She never smiled like that for _me_…

I bolted down the resentment and turned to face the bed. It was now in a reclining position. The boy-_Kouji_, I reminded myself, glared at me through eyes the same color as mine that didn't _quite_ focus, giving the impression that something was off about him. The oxygen mask was gone, but his lips below the fading bruise on his cheek were thinly pressed into a scowl, as if I was the _last_ person he wanted to see.

Maybe I _was_.

"Kouji, this is your brother, Kouichi," Mom said. I forced myself to look right into those glaring eyes and smile pleasantly.

"It's nice to meet you," I could only mumble.

The eyes narrowed, trying to focus on me. I gave up my struggle and looked down again.

"You're my brother?"

The slurred voice didn't sound much like my own. It was lower pitched, snapping out curt words which teetered on the edge of rudeness.

"I-I guess," I could only stammer, glancing up as I did. The unfocused gaze did not move.

"Why are you here?"

"Kouji!" Mom intervened. "He's here because your father asked him to come."

"He shouldn't be here." The slurring was more audible. "'M not ready for 'im yet. 'M'tired."

I tried to smile sympathetically before quickly making my exit.

"That was fast," Grandma said.

"He…" I struggled to pull myself together. "He said he's not ready to meet me yet."

"Well, he's been through a lot." Dad ran a hand through his hair. "I rushed things too much."

"Don't take it all on yourself, Kousei," Grandma said. "You made a mistake in inviting us, we made a mistake in coming. It happens."

"I know." Dad leaned back in his chair, then abruptly snapped forward again as Mom exited the room.

"He's nearly asleep," she told me and Grandma, completely ignoring Dad. "Call the taxi, let's go home."

Dad gave her a frosty glare before getting up and disappearing back into the room.

"Would you like to use my phone?" Satomi asked, holding up a cell phone.

"Sure." Grandma ignored Mom's disapproving stare, taking the phone and walking into a corner to make the call. And leaving me alone with Mom and Satomi. The atmosphere between them was so thick I could reach out and touch it, not that I wanted to go anywhere the tense minefield of emotions. I opted to lean against a nearby wall and contemplate what had just happened. Kouji wasn't "ready" for me. Was it because he was too tired to react to me, or was it because the revelation of my existence was too much for him? As far as I knew, he'd already taken Mom being alive and Grandma in stride, but that didn't really prove anything. He was still under sedation and Dad said he was out of it, maybe the full impact hadn't hit him yet.

_What happens next? _The question took me by surprise. It wasn't like I hadn't already thought about it, but now? I would probably go back to the hospital after school the next day, and see what to do from there. If Kouji really needed his space and it wasn't just due to tiredness, I'd give it to him. After all, there was no real need to rush things. _ Especially with families like this one_, I thought wryly, glancing at Mom and Satomi. Neither of them had moved from where Mom was standing and Satomi was sitting. Mom looked like she was trying to will Satomi out of her life, Satomi looked like she was bursting with questions, but didn't want to set anything off by asking them.

Dad stepped out of the room a minute later.

"He's asleep," he said trying not to look at Mom's triumphant face. That was when Grandma finished her call.

"The taxi will be here in ten minutes," she said handing Satomi her phone back.

"Okay, let's wait for it downstairs." Mom breezed to the corridor, glaring impatiently at me until I started moving.

"Tomoko," Grandma said irritably, but Mom ignored her and moved out of sight in the direction of the elevator. I flinched, sensing another argument when we got home.

"I'm sorry about this," Grandma told Dad. "Kouichi and I might see you tomorrow, if Tomoko doesn't get testy again, but tomorrow's her day off so I suspect we won't."

I cringed again, realizing she was right. In all the fuss, I'd forgotten than her day off was coming up. I hoped Takuya would understand.

Naturally, the instant we got home Grandma let loose into Mom for her lack of manners in dealing with Dad and Satomi. Naturally, Mom snapped back, accusing Grandma of taking Dad's side against her. Naturally, all I could do was pick up my homework and flee into the bedroom.

_This isn't worth it, _I told myself listening to them yell at one another. _He's not worth all this fighting._

Was this what the final days before the divorce were like?

**Author's Note: So I'm really sorry for leaving on a slight cliffhanger, but this is the last chapter I finished. Continuing this means I'll probably have to research injuries for some realism, but I'm not going to have as much time to write as I used to due to school starting up again next week. I'll at least try to work on it, at least, when I have the time. Meanwhile, I hope you guys enjoyed this fic so far.**


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